Trust

Sorry i havent posted in a few days, been a bit slack. I have been working so much it is crazy, and like most if i didnt need the money I wouldnt be doing it!

So the past few days have been a little crazy. I had a staff party on sunday and the so called guy who was ment to be my friend ignored me the whole night. It annoyed me as I had oppened up to him and told him alot about my life that I dont tend to tell people because all they seem to do is run away from me and of course thats not what makes a friend at all. I see a friend as someone who will accept you for who you are and be there when you need them, not judge you and they dont care what you have done, they care about you now and they will stick by you no matter what.

But on sunday he wouldnt even look at me. It is not good for me as I get to the feeling of not being accepted and he just said he would help to shut me up. So I have a few drinks and then a few more OH I forgot to say...I had a few before i even got there. NOT good for my liver. So i have a few more drinks and dance a little...having a great time. BUT one of my work mates turns round asks if im ok and thats it i clench my fist and break into tears...all i want to do is to cut my arm...i want to break my glass and cut....I was so angry for letting him care and finding out that he didnt really care.

So she sits with me and says its ok...i said no its not cause right now all i want to do is cut and im so annoyed for letting myself think he cared. She was so nice and sat with me till i calmed down. Then my other boss sat with me a while and then went of and gave him a peice of her mind. MAN he got a mouth full!

Still annoyed me that he wouldnt talk to me. But now people at work know about my cutting and about my depression and I dont know if it was the right thing to do but i was drunk and depressed and would have done anything that night...all over trusting someone who didnt care.

I know have to work with them all and feel very silly about what happened and about telling them about my cutting. I know that they care cause they always did when I was stressed and stuff and work.

Im sure I will sort things out...only have six weeks left of work anyway then off to france!




Take care today, Take care tomorrow, Take it slowly and enjoy it always!