Falling Heart!

I wish life was easy but it isnt...poeple come in and out of your life at a click of a finger. I have been so confused about my relationships with guys at the minute...it cracks me up...when you think u are never going to have anyone two come along at oncce and then your stuck in the middle and soooooo lost and confused and i always feel as if they play mind games with me...

I wish men would make there mind up. I wish I could see what they really thought about me. I never see myself beening with anyone, cause all I do is hurt them... My past haunts me...I can never be true to myself or to them...it doesn't help me to feel great about being in relationship with anyone.



Someone I thought was a friend locked me in his car and raped me. I had been at a party and had been drinking and blame myself for what happened. I shouldnt of got in the car with him...i shouldnt have been drinking...i should have just spoke to him infront of everyone...i should have screamed louder...i should of hit him...but i couldnt move...I dont see how i could have got up...i couldnt move..,he was to strong for me...i was weak...i was numb and all i did was cry...i cried and cried and cried and didnt know who to talk to or what to do...it was my fault..


BUT ITS NOT MY FAULT, I DIDNT DESERVE IT

I am loved and i do have people who care for me, but i always found it hard to believe.

I pray that I can get through this every day, I pray that people who have been through rape find the strength and the courage to step out of the darkness and fear and find that people care for them and will and want to help them. I pray that God sends his angels to protect them and me and that God is there through our struggles. Thank You God. Amen