"I was told I wasn't fit to be a christian...cause of suffering with depression and self harm... They said I would hurt them cause I cant smile 24/7...I hurt them cause I hurt myself... and maybe i am unfit to be a christian."
This happened almost three weeks ago. I was very angry and very shocked that someone would say something so hurtful, when I myself was not feeling to great. I put a post up on a group im involved in and everyone who read it gave me a positive reply. They said that noone is fit to be a christian and that it is through Jesus, whom died on the cross for our sins that we are able to be righteous in Gods eyes.
The past few weeks I have been even through beening put back on drugs that God is with me in every step that I take. I know some of you reading this may not be Christian but I pray that God can take care of everyone.
I became a Christian a year and a half ago, when my best freind Rach and I went to work in France for two weeks during a school holiday to do kids club on a Christian Campsite. I had no clue about the bible, the stories, all i knew was Jesus was born in a stable, some guys came with presents and then he died on a cross, an rose again. That was about the most I knew. The kids that we were working with did prayer arobics in the morning. This was big energetic action songs all about God and World and Jesus. The kids eyes were all lit up. They were loving it they were happy. I couldnt understand what it was that they all enjoyed so much. That night my friend explained a little bit more about Jesus dying for sins and that we are forgiven for everything we have done in our past if we just say that we want God to forgive us and say we believe that he is the only God.
It was an amazing night. Everyone told me there story about being saved. Every one of them had dealt and still deal with depression in their lives. Whether it was themselves, friends, brothers, sons, sisters, parents...they had all been where I was. They all looked to God for Strength and the love that they needed to be strong through the hard times and thankful through the good and even thankful for the bad.
After the first week, one little boy asked me if I believed in Jesus and I was shocked I didnt know what to do or say...as far as the kids were aware I was a Christian and that I did believe in Jesus, but there was something special about this kid, He was 4 years old and he always knew the right thing to say to me about God and Jesus and Angels. I told him I did beleive that God was real and that he was with us where ever we go no matter how bad things get. He said that he believed that too. My friend turned to me and smiled. She said your changing... I didnt know what she ment.
On the final Sunday we all went to the Marquee church...there was a brilliant band playing and we had to do the kids prayer aerobics with them as part of the family service. I was also asked to do communion. I did it. When the pastor did the prayer and blessing, I felt like i was being lifted up and then shivers went right down my spine and through my arms. It was a feeling I will never forget.
At the end of the service I commited my life to Jesus. 
Since then I have been through so many ups and downs. I was involved in a church when I was at university. I was living with Christians and I went to a cell group every week. It was amazing and I thank God for the oppertunity to do all that in a year. I had a hard time at university but pulled through. I believe that no matter what is happening in your live God is with you. He wants you to be saved, you just have to look at him and ask.
I know realise that even though I found it hard to be told I was unfit to be Christian, It was them in the wrong. I am a Christian and God saved me. I am Thankful to him. Amen.
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